Just so long as this thing is loaded
Currently Playing: Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The "E" (Cut From The Team)
I found a Jack Bauer spin-off of the Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris Random Facts. The Jack Bauer one is more awesome not only because Jack Bauer is the fucking man, but also because many of these are conceivably true.
These are some of the most hilarious I have seen:
-Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
-If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
-When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
-If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
-Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
-Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.
-Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
-Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
-Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
-When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
-Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2.
-What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
-In Season 3 Jack Bauer "distracted" an armed terrorist using only a lighter, some bullets, and a tin can. He then shot the man anyway.
I found a Jack Bauer spin-off of the Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris Random Facts. The Jack Bauer one is more awesome not only because Jack Bauer is the fucking man, but also because many of these are conceivably true.
These are some of the most hilarious I have seen:
-Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
-If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
-When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
-If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
-Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
-Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.
-Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
-Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
-Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
-When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
-Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2.
-What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
-In Season 3 Jack Bauer "distracted" an armed terrorist using only a lighter, some bullets, and a tin can. He then shot the man anyway.
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This is Jack Bauer. I removed Jeff's comment. I have no time for his fucking silliness.
you forgot...
when jack bauer was a kid, he made his mom eat his vegetables.
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